Former Miss USA Cheslie Kryst left a heartbreaking suicide text for her mother before jumping to her death.
The 30-year-old, from Michigan, leapt from her 29th story Midtown Manhattan high-rise apartment in January after struggling with her mental health since her twenties.
April Simpkins, 53, revealed her daughter’s tragic last words on Wednesday, during an episode of “Red Table Talk,” hosted by Jada Pinkett Smith, her daughter Willow Smith, and mother Adrienne Banfield-Norris.
“First, I’m sorry, by the time you get this, I won’t be alive anymore. And it makes me even more sad to write this because I know it will hurt you the most,” Kryst wrote to her mother.
The mother said she was exercising when she received the life-changing text, and her daughter knew she would be pre-occupied and sent the message then so she couldn't intervene.
She saw the message an hour after it was sent.
“I love you mom, and you are my best friend, and the person I’ve lived for for years. I wish I could stay with you, but I cannot bear the crushing weight of persistent sadness, hopelessness, and loneliness any longer,” the text continued.
“I’ve never told you these feelings, because I never wanted you to worry, and because I hoped they would eventually change, but I know they never will. They follow me through every accomplishment, success, family gathering, friendly dinner.
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“I cry almost every day now, like I’m in mourning. I wished for death for years. And I know you would want to know and want to help, but I haven’t wanted to share this weight with anyone.
“Regardless of that, thank you sincerely for being there for me in some of my loneliness moments without me even telling you I needed you.
“You have kept me alive and ready to face another day, because you answer every phone call and you are there for me at the drop of a hat.
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"You listen to me and care when I tell you what goes on in my life and you’ve always made me feel like you loved me.
“I love you more than any person I’ve ever known. You’ve done nothing wrong, you’ve done everything right.”
Simpkins said her daughter also included her final wishes and some personal information which she opted not to share on the Facebook series.
The mother said her daughter had struggled with depression since her early 20s and had tried to kill herself once before.
For emotional support, you can call the Samaritans 24-hour helpline on 116 123, email [email protected], visit a Samaritans branch in person or go to the Samaritans website.
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